MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS

Male/female relationships are mostly initiated by men in Senegal. This is done directly or indirectly, that is, using a third party. Women will only show signs or send love letters if literate. Usually people start dating in their teens, although in the rural areas courting can begin earlier than that. People date and go out more or less freely with each other in the urban area, while in the rural areas things are much more controled because the community is very small. Young people dating do not physically express their love in public except at parties or when they are amongst people their own age. As a woman, don't be surprised if a man comes and tells you he loves you; that is how it is done. If a man approaches a woman&endash;no matter how long the conversation&endash;the words 'nob' or 'sopp' may come up. They mean "like" but very often they are mistranslated by local people who will say "I love you", but actually meaning "I like you". Senegalese men who approach you will rarely take a 'no' for a 'no'. They'll try at least two more times before giving up. To make your life easier, do not take it personally when men insist so much. Senegalese women, even when they are very interested, will always start by declining the offer/advance both to test the pretender's determination, and to show that they are not an easy prey.

However, other relationships may be platonic; this may be co-workers, neighbours etc, who are friends and may visit each other quite often, although this sometimes may result in a physical relationship. Sex matters are discussed among peers of the same sex. Consider the implications of your behavior with members of the opposite sex, and consult your friends of the same sex as to how you should act with members of the opposite sex. Many women who have been on university exchange or volunteer programs in the past have noted that it was more difficult to meet and make friends with women than with men. Senegalese men are very friendly with women, and while you will be eager to meet new people and make friends, be aware that Senegalese women may interpret your reactions toward male solicitation in a way that you never intended. If you find that you are overwhelmed with unwanted male attention, try to use humor to diffuse the situation or to exit it without incurring bad feelings. Humor is used in many situations in Sénégal, and it can be a very effective tool to communicate difficult messages without insulting people. Contraceptives are widely used among school age young people to prevent pregnancy, but again it is used more in the urban than rural areas due to illiteracy and lack of accessibility.