ADJUSTING TO YOUR FAMILY

There may be some new issues for you as you adjust to living with a Senegalese family. Some things may be very different from what you're accustomed to. As you will no longer be living the independent life of a Western adult who can come and go as you please, be prepared to give up a little of that freedom in Senegal so you can better integrate into your family. They may worry if you stay out late, so early on in your homestay, it is best to have a discussion about what time they expect you to be home. Your family will most likely want you to accompany them on certain visits, activities, or excursions. Take advantage of such cultural opportunities as they provide an ideal way to get to know the different aspects of the culture first-hand. Adapting to a different family lifestyle will take some time. There will most likely be instances in which you are aware that your family does not understand why you act the way you do, and vice versa. Listen and observe closely; often, messages are given in a non-verbal manner. Also, pay attention to how your Senegalese peers act and relate to others and follow their model. You may be able to identify someone in the family who can serve as your cultural advisor, to whom you can ask questions and get feedback on your behavior.

HELPFUL HINTS FOR A POSITIVE FAMILY EXPERIENCE

Keep your expectations realistic. Always check and double-check when the family expects you to be home: at night, for meals, for family outings. • Speak French or Wolof at all times, even when talking with other English-speaking friends, unless you are speaking in a private place. • Don't hesitate to tell them if you don't understand, and ask them to be patient as you try to improve your French and Wolof. • Respect the rules and customs of your family (schedules, opinions, religious beliefs, etc.)

• Ask your host mother for permission to have friends over. When you do have guests, entertain them in the same way that your family entertains theirs. • Expect to make your own bed, keep your room clean, and offer to help out, as you would in your own country when visiting relatives. You will not be expected to do your laundry, although everyone washes their own underwear. • Inform the institution responsible for your homestay immediately of any problems relating to your safety and well-being. • At the end of your homestay experience and after you return to your own country, write your family a letter letting them know that you arrived home safely and that you appreciate their sharing their home with you during your stay. Not to do so would be considered very rude by Senegalese standards.

In some cases, if you are doing something that is regarded as culturally offensive by your family, you will most likely not be directly told by the person who objects to your behavior. Unlike current Western culture, direct, confrontational communication is not common in Senegal. If you're aware that you may be doing something culturally insensitive, simply ask your family. If you are not comfortable doing that, ask a Senegalese friend or colleague/collaborator what he or she suggests you do. You can save yourself a lot of heartache if you do what you can to help clear up any unintentional cultural misunderstandings when they first occur. You will find that different expectations exist of your role as a guest and family member, ones that are quite different than what you are used to in your own living situation in your country. Women may be expected to be home at a certain hour, or simply to arrive earlier than their male peers. Men may be expected to escort female friends home after an evening out. There may be different rules regarding use of the bathroom and shower and you will be expected to be home for meals. Many families will have servants working in the home. These will all be new things that will require some adjustments on your part.  When you are not sure about what your family expects from you, ask, ask and ask again. Keep the communication lines open, even if it means fumbling around in French or Wolof. If your family and friends know you're trying to learn the social norms, they will be happy to help you along. If you should have serious difficulties with your family, don't hesitate to discuss the matter with members of the institution responsible for your homestay. Keep in mind that if privacy is indispensable to you in your living situation, living in a family may not be the best choice for you. You may or may not experience the same single family unit "home" that is common in the West. Senegalese families often live in compounds with many families sharing space in the same structure. You may be asked to share a room.

  

CULTURAL ADJUSTMENT

 You are going to experience all sorts of wonderful things during your stay in Senegal. The satisfaction among former visitors is extremely high. They talk of how easy it is to meet people in Senegal, how friendly people are, and how much they learned about themselves while they were here. It is an immensely rich and rewarding experience and one that you can anticipate with pleasure.

 However, everyone has bad days once in while. Some people will experience bad days more than others. It is normal to feel like you just want to go homeeveryone has felt that way at some point in his or her travels. People who have been to Senegal in the past offer the following advice:

 

First of all, be prepared to have unhappy days and know that they will pass. • Know how you handle stress at home, and try some of the same activities that help you here while in Senegal. • If you are part of a group, talk to others and share your feelings with them. • Try doing something that will involve you in the present; simply doing something can work wonders. Example: if you have nothing to do one Saturday and are feeling homesick or miserable give yourself a task that will help you get to know the local culture betterlike going to a local church, searching for a specific item in the market, asking a new Senegalese friend to come to dinner, etc. Immerse yourself and keep busy. • Sometimes, though, you might find that you need to be away from people and/or the local culture for a while, so you might choose to hole up with a book, to listen to music, or to go to the beach. Cook, read a book, write letters, write in your journalsomething to distract you or help you spill out your feelings. • Lastly, be patient with yourself! There will be times when you feel you are the only one who is miserable and having a bad dayyou're not! You'll learn that everyone has her or his own way of coping in a different culture and that what might help some people some of the time, won't help everyone all of the time. But this learning process, coming to really know yourself in a way you haven't before, is part of the adventure.

From ACI
-- HOME --